Life's been more than fair.

Life's been more than fair lately.

Even though I am working almost everyday

and feeling stressed/pressured by the upcoming Sakeinn website

there's still a fucking ray of sunshine in my life

and it comes as form of a guy

standing at 1.8m

with the worst fashion taste ever

but a smile always for me

no matter where I am

(though granted, I'm only at Sakeinn)

he will come by with food

testing his luck with his choices

knowing full well that I will hate it

seeing him,

knowing how far we have gone to reach here now

my heart explodes with happiness everyday

knowing he's here to stay

that guy

that lifeguard

that friend

is now my boyfriend

love is intangible

and happiness is subjective

but right now

I know

this is love.

this is happiness

It's impossible to list the things I love about you

but here goes

I love that you intertwined your fingers with mine the instant we met

I love how you gave me the face when I let go of your hand

I love how you then grabbed it tightly

I love how you say 'No' to my shoos and go-aways

I love how you will stroke my head

I love how you smell my hair

I love how you call me Hun

I love how you go aiyo over the simplest things

I love how you bring in your mum and sis in our conversations

I love how you dismiss me when I bring in insignificant others in our relationship

I love how you smile at me the instant you saw me

I love how you bugged me in reciprocating my love back

I love how when I do, your face lights up

I love how you concede defeat so that I can win

I love how you treat me like a Queen

I love how you love my friends

I love how you change your url the instant you became this happy

so much for thinking it's impossible to list.

you consume all my thoughts,

and I thank my lucky stars everyday

 to be able to meet you.

know you

like you

and finally fall madly in love with you.

Harris Lim

I love you.

random musings

It's been a month since I’m back. Time flies.

Have not had a proper rest since I came back actually

I mean, I went to Sakeinn the day after I landed. 

I swear, the next morning, bright and early, 

I’m back at here.

the only bright side,

I managed to steal the mayorship of Sakeinn at foursquare

from some nonsense si gina girl. 

take that si gina!

Just pathetic, I know.

in my defense, I need these small things to keep me going

So, it's been a month and I have basically done nothing. wtf

I'm either working or meeting my friends

3 months of disappearing in thin air

people will definitely miss you.

and of cause, my convocation

went back early so that I could wear the hat

hair so chio, tan so pretty, not fat at all

(refer back to 2008 yiqi, I fucking did it) 

with zhicheng

that guy saved my life in the last 3 years of university

it's even a standing joke btn the gang

"zc is the best thing that ever happened to you, steph" 

they would say that to me

while,

"Steph is the worst thing that ever happened to you, zc"

that would be directed to zc

super omgly touched by those two that came all the way to NTU just to see me grad

we have gone a long way

since a such a tender age of 16 years.

and hey presto,

I've graduated.

with the uni clique

dom and ye just super 有心

to take off to come see the four of us grad

it takes effort mind you

anyhow, this picture only missing Ray,

if not the gang is completed.

mandatory grad shot.

fml why did i looked up,

my face is now hidden

so to prevent readers/reader from missing my face

here's a chio photo of me with the Winnie decked in grad gown too

anyhow
other than convocation and meetups with the peeps
I am also mj-ing.

mahjong takes up much time too

It's my favorite hobby so understandably, I'm game to mj anytime, anywhere

reminiscing the days where I sneaked out at night

take mj table from Jerome's house

so as to mj at Sy house.

our window from 1am-5am.

simply bcos Justin can only come out after 1am and I need to be back home at 5am

wtf why we so hardcore.

anyhow, birthday celebrations for this year, so.much.better

though sucks to be 23.

and it doesn't help that Harris is only 22. fml

cannot wait for May 25th. 

Celebrated with uni gang at the much coveted hotel-MBS.

quite awesome actually

even though I've been here quite a few many times

the excitement of infinity pool still gets my heart beating

the night light of Singapore is still breath-o-taking

here are some pictures

so irritated with them, 

they placed 2 large and 5 candles and now im 25. fml*1000

and still add on the sign gestures

lucky my hair so chio here

I think it compensates 

still keeping up with the '25' sign,

and omfg about the Singapore skyline

how breathtaking can Singapore be

anyway the funniest story happened there.

was soaking in the Jacuzzi with sj and cheryl

this security guard came by and asked us to leave

reason being

"jacuzzi only for aged 16 and above"

so people who think I look old now

I can still pass off as a 16 year old girl. LOL

loving this candid shot of us.

cannot remember what we were talking

but I guessed I was mildly distracted

checking my hair and whatsapping Harris.

in my defense, I was too excited as he was coming home the next day

LDGA no joke.

anyhow

the best part of growing old,

is knowing they are here

and wont leave you.

(:

soooo after MBS,

comes 11th August

that boy finally finished his traveling

left MBS early and took the shuttle bus to Changi Airport

and finalfuckingly he walked out from the gate

quoting from him, 

"the air we were both meant to share"

wtf

Just not impressed, not touched, not feeling anything

I'm not that kind of girl hun. 

Cabbed back to his house

waited for him to bath

and what do you know

his mum came back and

I met his mum

omgomgomgomgomg

Just not even together

first day back, I've already seen my boyfriend's  friend's mum

anyhow still proud of myself

that I managed to leave a good impression

and got praised for being pretty. Yay!

#simplejoys

anyway, had our first SG date

AngKeong Hokkien Mee.

side note, why would people wanna dismiss, 

that was/is Heaven on a plate.

went back home

and cut birthday cake with my dad

was lazy to whatspp from Mei's phone so just took a snapshot with the phone

regretting it now

but anyway,

celebrated daddy's and my birthday at Jumbo Seafood

then celebration no3

with the nzire peeps and Justin at Soul

brought asked Harris along

reason being, we need a photographer.

and someone to share costs.

but joke's on me now. LOL

dont mind the wreath. 

those nonsense guys decided to make me a siam bu. FML

but before that, I was checked, had to produce driving license

(seriously, I still get a kick whenever I get the chance to show my license) 

apparently I look younger than 18 years old. 

made my night actually

anyway, these are the photos

I look absolutely stunning albeit the wreath. tyvm.

 

with Nigel

we looked so happy

yay 

with sy

he looked half drunk already

just wtf

was supposed to be my day, he just steal limelight

no comments

yay derrick!

its a trend to go clubs on my birthday. LOL

yay nick!

just so slim now.

wtf

and the gang

photo taken by Harris

see so blurred

referred to above

joke's on me

I know, I am too short

I get it everyday when I need to talk to everyone other than my family members

didn't got drunk, take that Nigel

I'm no longer the fucked up girl who got drunk at MBS hotel last Xmas.

left Soul around 3plus

and cabbed back home with Harris

seriously, the perks of living so fucking near.

we can share cabs

we can meet for brunch/dinner/supper

though the cons are, 

you cannot cheat, I mean, it will be awkward

if you happened to be holding hands with someone else

and he happens to be at downstairs. LOL

and and and on the 12th night

ate a simple bdae cake bread

so touched can.

why am i so easily pleased

but yay thanks for the minion and bread and candles and chocolates

you know I love you

despite what my actions say otherwise. my words meant it

HAHAHAHA

on the 13th, 

yay Harris got no school

went over again because no one was at home

I became smart okay

soon went over to Sakeinn,

yes, I go to Sakeinn even on my birthday

it's a norm

at least I do not need to work this year

last year, I was working mind you.

collected the cake.

aiyo so sweet.

#forever21

with @yiimin

best sister ever

and with Harris

just dono how to smile

spoiling this otherwise perfect photo

anyway we went back to his house to place the leftover cake

and yea, managed to see the mum and dad

so much for avoiding

but it was really hot and I wanted to stay in the house 

soon the sun wasn't that scorching and we went off
so excited
birthday celebration at Timbre
sadly the company could do better
'why am I stuck with him'
I fervently asked myself.

ordered duck pizza and buffalo wings
omg just Heaven on a plate once more
awesome awesome dinner
wtf thinking about it now makes me hungry

was supposed to watch Brave
but somehow we got to talking
and we became so emo after that. LOL
to be honest,
I kinda forgotten the conclusion of the talk

but I guess,
the overall message is
"We will last"?


anyhow it was a really nice celebration
so so so so so much better than last year


oh wait, nzire celebrated with me another time
nigel, shawn and sy baked me a tiramisu cake
just omg wtf why they so zai


in all,
this year birthday celebrations
so god damn better
much loved. <3>

those 27days

"I read once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you." 

-The Perfect Man (2005) -

It has been 13 days since you are back, and these 13 days have been

goddamnomgamazing

I guess, the start of the relationship is always perfect.

the honeymoon period

the getting to know each other

the cantgetenough of each other

the cantkeepmyhands off each other

and of course, the introduction of one's family and friends.

(which I totally aced btw)

but before these happiness crowds my mind,

here's some feelings that needs to be jotted down.

to look back and smile and cringe and be mortified

by my style of writing

and not forgetting my actions.

and here they are,

I'm glad we survived the 27 days

it was hard, mind you

I had proof of how fucked up it was too.

That was on 21st July, 

filled with hope that I could survive our LDGA

why was I so naive that time.

then,

I came back, 28th July

and waiting became so excruciating.

tried to walk away, futile attempt.

afterwards,

instead of getting used that you are not by my side,

I got even more dependent.

wtf is wrong with me.

and I got really really scared.

not forgetting my friends were there to present the other side

the cons of entering this relationship

were frankly enough to deter me away

but somehow, i guess I liked you too much to stay away

and you were doing whatever you could

to prove that you really liked me and wanted to be tog with me

so much to the extent of asking me on whatsapp to be together

#wtf #seriouslywtfwereyouthinking

and then finally, you left the States

"Time is making fools of us again"

Professor Albus Dumbledore, HBP

He couldn't have put it in better words.

 Time CRAWLED.

 and you actually resorted to doing up a countdown

on 

http://www.timeanddate.com

I swear, it was my favorite website for those 5days

seeing the seconds, minutes, hours and days ticking by

it was intoxicating

and I guess, 

that was when I knew you aren't a fling.

"I think I like love you"

The voice in my head

and now,

I count my blessings everyday

that i flew 80,000miles

embark on this great USA adventure

and met you.

because Harris Lim, you make me happy

you really do.

and I hope I do too.

xoxo

love,

yiqi

Oh crap.

Oh crap,

I think I have fallen for it again. Just great.  My heart just doesn't listen. It acts on its own accord.

I’m really scared.  Going into a relationship is undoubtedly intriguing and not forgetting exciting. However, so are the terrors. This phrase, grey area, ambiguity is the best isn’t it? There’s no commitment involved and even if I were to be committed, at the very least, when it sours, I can walk off without feeling too goddamn upset.

I think that is the very sole reason why I am refusing to give us a label. I know my actions speaks otherwise, in fact I think as the days without you by my side lengthens, I think of you more and more as my boyfriend. Oh my god. Even writing this word freaks me out; you see how we are never going to work? However, here I am, waking up at wee hours, making plans with you in December to go overseas and going over to your house for dinner. Do you know that warning bells are going ferociously in my head every single day? I think my whole happiness has gradually dependent on your texts. I smiled goofily at your texts and in the afternoon, when wifi fail us, I re-read our conversation.

I know I always dismiss what you say as either nonsense or sweet talk, but truthfully those make me happy. In fact, I’m so happy now that I’m terrified. You need to know that, nothing good comes in my life. I’m a relationship mess. I fall in love fall too easily and take too long to fall out. My personal motto now is leave before I’m being left. I don’t know how you got under my skin and now I’m actually scared you will go off because, at this moment, I am trapped. I cannot leave you now. I like you too much.

So much for emphasizing to the whole world we are being in a grey area, when I know I feel for you otherwise. I secretly hope that when I’m back in Singapore, I will be less dependent and sticky so that I can find my escape route. 

I need to.

If my best friend can do this to me, so can you, along with everyone else.

HAHAHA.

i wrote this on the plane from NYC to TW.

looking back,

now all this is just too funny.

Harris Lim, 

you better be awesome to me, if not you die.

Love,

Your Queen.