inthenearfuture

my ambition since young,
be one of these women

(longchamp, gucci, birkin)

its true, even from primary schools when all my fellow peers were busy scribbling their lifelong ambition, teachers, doctors, lawyers, firemen. (i know, wtf? )

i always wanted to be a tai-tai because in my naive mind, " huh no need to work still can carry super expensive bags and wear gorgeous shoes! perfect job "


obviously i didnt dare to scribble down because i was a true and true



but trust me, that option never once wavered from my obstinate mind and heart.

and me agrees with this statement  *1000000

12 years have passed.

i still aspire to a tai-tai yet i am beginning to see how naive i was. yes, just only. Sorry, am still very materialistic and superificial but at least im aware of it. Honestly, i really think that one of my greatest strengths is to be able to laugh at myself. my flaws are, well the rest. #fail

so anyway back track to what my blog was about today.

i want to be a tai-tai yet i wish to be in a dual-income household not because my husband cant afford (which is prob true,birkin bag hello?) but the key point is i want to work.

i am easily bored and i can't stay at home. i can't supervise the maids in cleaning and cooking cos i know nuts about it.

in fact i think this scene is highly possible.

so please, let me be out in the working environment, so at least i can be a bitch superior in heels and command ppl with a stern/gaze.

hopefully parading around with a birkin bag. tyvm.

Nothing Rocket Science About It-edited

Blogged a long post but couldnt find the courage to post it up.

I guess i am scared of the aftermath and i dont want to be deemed as the immature one. so i saved it as a draft and only a few selected friends got to see the whole post.


It was good, venting it all out. the bitchyness plus the sadness and the overwhelmed surreal of the whole reality,

reflecting on why it ended, and i came up with this,

"NOTHING ROCKET SCIENCE ABOUT IT"

it was really really clear cut, but sigh, LOVE is anything but simple.

I see all the flaws in your story, the easiest one,

"FIND YOURSELF"

there was no need for any of my friends to point it out, i can see it. but because i was so "madly psychotic in love with you" (Shawn, 2011) that i chose to ignore.

And even after the breakup, i ignored you, while you go around blatantly flirting on facebook, defaming me at one of my most loved webby, twitter, and spreading ridiculous rumors of me.

I guess im too disappointed in you to do anything. I mean i can be a bitch and retaliate which im sure you will LOSE like mad.

but unfortunately for me, though fortunately for you,

im

FUCKING MATURE.

Not to post my long blog post filled with pictures of tweets and your words is a valid point that i am continuing to ignore you.

but please bear in mind,

Ignorance is neither acknowledging nor accepting. It is the highest order of disgust and contempt one can ever gives. (Eugene, 2011)

And as for now,

xoxo
the girl whom you walked out from her life and make it fucking awesome
#amiwittyoramiwitty



ps: bitchyness aside,

just to tell you that i would NEVER EVER dreamt/imagine me hurting you the way you hurt me. If you do have some morals, please do reflect. Though its gonna take more than a "sorry" to make it alright.


pps: Food 4Thoughts, One can only imagine the horrors you would do to your other friends if you do that to one of your 6-year best friend since secondary school.

7days, countless of hours

just finished editing everything. changed passwords, delete photos.
with each step, excruciating pain the heart, but i have to do it.

its the first step on walking away.
letting go of resentment. accepting that ive lost. believing in that hope is lost is minor steps.

i wonder what the future holds. because im bent and broken as it is. i dont think i have the strength to continue.

forever is just a word. actions played holds more weightage than words.
im trying to walk the talk,

"what doesnt kill you makes you stronger"
and to you, yes girl. i only have these words to say to you.

but its okay, ive lost, good for you. i will walk away and i will laugh back at today's pathetic state and thank god i forgo revenge bcos thats dignity earned.



You didnt love her. You just didnt want to be alone.
Or maybe, maybe she was just good for your ego.
Or, or maybe she made you feel better about you miserable life,
but you didnt love her. Because you dont destroy people you love.