those 27days

"I read once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you." 

-The Perfect Man (2005) -

It has been 13 days since you are back, and these 13 days have been

goddamnomgamazing

I guess, the start of the relationship is always perfect.

the honeymoon period

the getting to know each other

the cantgetenough of each other

the cantkeepmyhands off each other

and of course, the introduction of one's family and friends.

(which I totally aced btw)

but before these happiness crowds my mind,

here's some feelings that needs to be jotted down.

to look back and smile and cringe and be mortified

by my style of writing

and not forgetting my actions.

and here they are,

I'm glad we survived the 27 days

it was hard, mind you

I had proof of how fucked up it was too.

That was on 21st July, 

filled with hope that I could survive our LDGA

why was I so naive that time.

then,

I came back, 28th July

and waiting became so excruciating.

tried to walk away, futile attempt.

afterwards,

instead of getting used that you are not by my side,

I got even more dependent.

wtf is wrong with me.

and I got really really scared.

not forgetting my friends were there to present the other side

the cons of entering this relationship

were frankly enough to deter me away

but somehow, i guess I liked you too much to stay away

and you were doing whatever you could

to prove that you really liked me and wanted to be tog with me

so much to the extent of asking me on whatsapp to be together

#wtf #seriouslywtfwereyouthinking

and then finally, you left the States

"Time is making fools of us again"

Professor Albus Dumbledore, HBP

He couldn't have put it in better words.

 Time CRAWLED.

 and you actually resorted to doing up a countdown

on 

http://www.timeanddate.com

I swear, it was my favorite website for those 5days

seeing the seconds, minutes, hours and days ticking by

it was intoxicating

and I guess, 

that was when I knew you aren't a fling.

"I think I like love you"

The voice in my head

and now,

I count my blessings everyday

that i flew 80,000miles

embark on this great USA adventure

and met you.

because Harris Lim, you make me happy

you really do.

and I hope I do too.

xoxo

love,

yiqi

Oh crap.

Oh crap,

I think I have fallen for it again. Just great.  My heart just doesn't listen. It acts on its own accord.

I’m really scared.  Going into a relationship is undoubtedly intriguing and not forgetting exciting. However, so are the terrors. This phrase, grey area, ambiguity is the best isn’t it? There’s no commitment involved and even if I were to be committed, at the very least, when it sours, I can walk off without feeling too goddamn upset.

I think that is the very sole reason why I am refusing to give us a label. I know my actions speaks otherwise, in fact I think as the days without you by my side lengthens, I think of you more and more as my boyfriend. Oh my god. Even writing this word freaks me out; you see how we are never going to work? However, here I am, waking up at wee hours, making plans with you in December to go overseas and going over to your house for dinner. Do you know that warning bells are going ferociously in my head every single day? I think my whole happiness has gradually dependent on your texts. I smiled goofily at your texts and in the afternoon, when wifi fail us, I re-read our conversation.

I know I always dismiss what you say as either nonsense or sweet talk, but truthfully those make me happy. In fact, I’m so happy now that I’m terrified. You need to know that, nothing good comes in my life. I’m a relationship mess. I fall in love fall too easily and take too long to fall out. My personal motto now is leave before I’m being left. I don’t know how you got under my skin and now I’m actually scared you will go off because, at this moment, I am trapped. I cannot leave you now. I like you too much.

So much for emphasizing to the whole world we are being in a grey area, when I know I feel for you otherwise. I secretly hope that when I’m back in Singapore, I will be less dependent and sticky so that I can find my escape route. 

I need to.

If my best friend can do this to me, so can you, along with everyone else.

HAHAHA.

i wrote this on the plane from NYC to TW.

looking back,

now all this is just too funny.

Harris Lim, 

you better be awesome to me, if not you die.

Love,

Your Queen. 

This is Madness

2 weeks till I leave sunny Singapore for sunny New York.

Till now, I cannot believe I have the guts to travel out.

OK

i have no idea how to continue

bye

The Secret

So, according to The Secret

the Laws of Attraction will only work
if you believe in the Laws of Attraction.


and the most important thing of all
is to keep writing stuffs and believing in it


so here goes my list.


i will find a job
i will get slimmer
i will be happily in love
i will be as awesome as i can get

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I'm a true-blue TV junkie.

And with my slacker life, I watched them as soon as they aired.

Last time, it was on MegaVideo but due to the @$%^# FBI who took it down,

I now torrent my shows. LOL.

once they are available on Isohunt

F.R.I.E.N.D.S is the best sitcom that I've watched so far.

"Everything I know in Life, I learnt from Friends"

http://friendsislife.wordpress.com/2009/12/13/everything-i-know-in-my-life-i-learned-from-friends-poster-quotes/

It's my sanctuary , it's like Harry Potter to me.

I love Rachel Green as much as I love my Winnie the Pooh.

And that's saying a lot.

And there they are,

my 6 favorite fictional characters of all time.

I'll be there for you

(when the rain starts to pour)

I'll be there for you

(like I've been there before)

I'll be there for you

(cause you're there for me too)

- the rembrandts-

Im finally back to blogging because, 

MY VIDEOS ARE TAKING FOREVER TO LOADDDDDDDDD

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME??

Anyway, since I have some time, heres a blog post from me

its overdue but still,

I promised myself that i would blogged about 2011.

I even done a small paragraph that goes like this,

"2011 was certainly a year of ups and downs. And to top it off, i had fallen down on the last day of 2011"

AND yes, to answer you guys, i did fell down. #wtf #fml #mylifesucks

But seeing now its March 2012,

(yes, time flies when you sleep at 5am and wake up at 1pm

don't ask me how, it is just happening)

so to sum it up,

2 words to 2011

FUCK OFF!!!!!

or if you want a much civilized one,

GOOD RIDDANCE!

Looking back, I honestly have no f-ing idea how I survived.

I certainly became a lot more angst but I honestly think it's so much better you know?

I really love my current life

(whats not to love, i sleep till 1pm okay)

yes, i don't deny, it still fucking hurts at times

especially when I see the FB posts.

and not forgetting I am forced to see them. in flesh. #wtf #FMLoncemore

for the record, I'm never going to outings that have him or her or them

NO AMOUNT OF BEGGING WILL EVER MAKE ME HAVE DINNER WITH THEM INVITED

NOT EVEN 1 MILLION

NOT EVEN IF NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS GONNA BE THERE

NOT EVEN IF NPH SUDDENLY ANNOUNCES HE'S NOT GAY AND WANTS TO BRING ME HOME AND GIVES ME 1 MILLION AND A DIAMOND RING. 

LOLOLOLOL

I believe you all get the point.

And besides, NPH is so gay and so in love with David Burtka, I cannot break them apart.

you see, crappy, I have morals.

wait do you know what morals are?

okay fine, I'm sorry. I'm never doing that anymore.

double chins it is.

and for that asshole, hope you go impotent and bald and have a paunchy stomach and homeless with no family and friends, walk out buy drugs to support your cocaine addition and got bang by a car that renders you not dead but surviving only on life support.

and who knows, when doctors gives you medical check-up, you are in Cancer 3rd Stage.

oh you poor thing... NOT.

LOLOLOLOLOL. 

definitely going to Hell for all this.

but it's okay because,

eug&zc&nitx are my cell mates. <3

Enough about 2011,

Im done saying and it has honestly been a year, 

Nitx tells me everyday that I need to find a guy, but it's so scary.

To go out and put yourself there.

ARE U FUCKING CRAZY?

screams my brain.

because the deal is this,

The more you love, the more you hate.

Jobs

I'm really worried.

Ive applied to quite a number of jobs already and yet none has responded to me. WTF..


whyyyyyy