Im finally back to blogging because, 

MY VIDEOS ARE TAKING FOREVER TO LOADDDDDDDDD

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME??

Anyway, since I have some time, heres a blog post from me

its overdue but still,

I promised myself that i would blogged about 2011.

I even done a small paragraph that goes like this,

"2011 was certainly a year of ups and downs. And to top it off, i had fallen down on the last day of 2011"

AND yes, to answer you guys, i did fell down. #wtf #fml #mylifesucks

But seeing now its March 2012,

(yes, time flies when you sleep at 5am and wake up at 1pm

don't ask me how, it is just happening)

so to sum it up,

2 words to 2011

FUCK OFF!!!!!

or if you want a much civilized one,

GOOD RIDDANCE!

Looking back, I honestly have no f-ing idea how I survived.

I certainly became a lot more angst but I honestly think it's so much better you know?

I really love my current life

(whats not to love, i sleep till 1pm okay)

yes, i don't deny, it still fucking hurts at times

especially when I see the FB posts.

and not forgetting I am forced to see them. in flesh. #wtf #FMLoncemore

for the record, I'm never going to outings that have him or her or them

NO AMOUNT OF BEGGING WILL EVER MAKE ME HAVE DINNER WITH THEM INVITED

NOT EVEN 1 MILLION

NOT EVEN IF NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS GONNA BE THERE

NOT EVEN IF NPH SUDDENLY ANNOUNCES HE'S NOT GAY AND WANTS TO BRING ME HOME AND GIVES ME 1 MILLION AND A DIAMOND RING. 

LOLOLOLOL

I believe you all get the point.

And besides, NPH is so gay and so in love with David Burtka, I cannot break them apart.

you see, crappy, I have morals.

wait do you know what morals are?

okay fine, I'm sorry. I'm never doing that anymore.

double chins it is.

and for that asshole, hope you go impotent and bald and have a paunchy stomach and homeless with no family and friends, walk out buy drugs to support your cocaine addition and got bang by a car that renders you not dead but surviving only on life support.

and who knows, when doctors gives you medical check-up, you are in Cancer 3rd Stage.

oh you poor thing... NOT.

LOLOLOLOLOL. 

definitely going to Hell for all this.

but it's okay because,

eug&zc&nitx are my cell mates. <3

Enough about 2011,

Im done saying and it has honestly been a year, 

Nitx tells me everyday that I need to find a guy, but it's so scary.

To go out and put yourself there.

ARE U FUCKING CRAZY?

screams my brain.

because the deal is this,

The more you love, the more you hate.

Jobs

I'm really worried.

Ive applied to quite a number of jobs already and yet none has responded to me. WTF..


whyyyyyy

OHAI GRADUATION

Yes, after 7 struggling semesters, I have completed my core, and before i touched on anything, here is a letter i wrote for myself in 2008, just before i started my torturous journey of a Mathematician student.

dear, future 2012 yiqii

how have you been?? Is uni life good for you? you are close to graduating already! ((:

at least i hope so. u have made it to this far right? 

u nv drop out halfway and banish everyone's expectatations of you right?

j
and jus to check, u are nt addicted to smokin or drugs ya? 

if you have, kill urself now. 

no pt readin anymore.

graduating cermony is approachin right? 
i hope you have found de perfect hairdo. shoes. clothes and all. 

if you haven, blame shujuan!!! 

u wanted to plan it 4 yrs ago, she said u are crazy, see wat happen now??? 

told u, that 4yrs passed by a blink la.

speakin of frens, wonder how ur close frens are doin la.

ky has graduated from psychology. 

faa from business and nitx is probably in de 3rd yr of uni!

jf is graduatin wif you. direct honors.

juan.beng are probably in uni le.maybe they are in de same school as you!! 

haha. i have no idea. huili is intendin to pursue a degree right?

celest is also studying?

 so many ppl are studyin la. haha. 

and i'm graduating. ((:

n-zire guys have all finished ns. 

wow. time REALLI flies.

and oo! i forgot to ask u, do u know ur way ard ntu already?

 i doubt so.

 and have you gt a drivin license liao??

 i seriousli hope u do. u are like 23yrs old le.

how's piano goin? smooth? 

and japanese language. u know more that simple phrases le?

well the letter's gettin draggy so i shall end here.

 realli hope u like uni life and create unforgettable memories. ((: [oh my that's so cliche]

ps: are u attached now?

pps: is the guy cute?

ppps: he better be both cute and rich!! ur dream is to becum a tai tai.

signing off,present 2008 yiqii

WOW.

I have only this emotion. I am smiling at and to myself. (if you can comphrend)

4 years have passed. or rather 3.5 years.

My usage of language is funny and anw, I'm here to answer you,



Dear past 2008 yiqii

I have graduated from NTU. Nope, I didn't banish everyone hopes and mugged on. 

The journey was tough like mad. 

I have broken down countless of times, cos i don't freaking understand.

 in fact, i can safely say, i still have no idea. 

And nope, i am not addicted to smoking or drugs, still obeys the law.

Just keep swearing more everyday. but thats okay right? 

2008 yiqii will approve. 

Its circumstances that made who i am today.

Its actually very bittersweet reading this letter as I am not as close to some of the friends now in 2011.

I am, to still a few, but i have made new friends, so it all evens out.

And yea, all of my friends went to study, but none came here

but its still okay,

cos i made other amazing people and they walked with me. <3

Yes, graduation ceremony is approaching but I'm going to the States first so it will be very rush

i doubt i will have time to prepare my hairdo and clothes

and i have a secret fear I'm going to be very fat

3 months = no joke

AND HAHAHAHA, I PASSED MY DRIVING

THANKYOUVERYMUCH

I do know my way around NTU, but if i deviate from the norm, i'm lost like a sheep.

piano& jap is all good. (:

and no, i'm not attached, i got out from a fucked-up r/s this year 

and i can safely say, after this heartbreak, and yet am still not broken,

I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD. 

All in all, these past 3.5 years have its ups and downs. 

Though the 'downs' outweighs the 'ups' by so much,

I'm thankful i made it through.
  

With loves,

                  2011 yiqii 

You have your mother's eyes

The ones that never left me.

Saturday Dinner.

3 words, 

WON LIKE MAD

Clearing My Head

All my feelings, it is hard to even jot it down in words.

I promise myself that I will walk away, 

I will live well, I will find back my joy. And in these few months, I did it. 

I’m the Yiqi again, though admittedly, a little more cynical, a little more angst, and a lot less demure. 

But nevertheless, I am back.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

 I am a firm believer of this cliché phrase.

  And I think after this incident, I can face a WWE wrestler now.

 Emotionally of course.

The feelings that I have to curb and the emotions that used to flow.
The smiles and “I’m fine”.

Every single day was torturous.

 I thought, to myself, repeatedly, it is just a dream.

 And I would wake up, next morning, knowing otherwise. 

I desperately wanted an exit and finally it came. 

I fell out of love. 

Your actions, your words, they disgust me. 

They woke me up.

 You were no longer the guy I love.

 You have morphed away, replaced by someone so foul, so evil and so not worthy of my love.

Once you had fallen out of love and seen the ugly side of everything,

 The thing that taunts you, weakens you and stops you, are the good memories. 

The memories that had been so ingrained in my mind were continuously attacking me. 

Yes, the usage of the word, attack, seems so ridiculous now.

 But at that time, it was how it was. 

Everything triggered me to you, the old you, 

And my happiness dissolved so rapidly before anyone can say, “Stop thinking”.

 I distinctly remembered that I used videos, alcohol, shopping, anything

just to let me sleep peacefully, devoid of nightmares. 

And most importantly, from dreaming my ideal scene 

The old YOU realizing your mistake and coming back for me. 

The feeling, when one wakes up,

 realizes that the dream was merely an obsessed yearning was tormenting.

 In fact, the only advantage of ending a relationship was losing the extra pounds.

Then came the inevitable, the bitching, to downplay each other faults. 

The competition, to see whether one is better off than the other, 

and lastly, wanting mutual friends to be at your side. 

That was ugly and thankfully it has past too.  

Or rather, you were losing and had to put a stop to it. 

A word of advice, next time, 

if you want to bitch about someone, make sure you have the facts and brains to back up.

 Perhaps, it is my fault too, to satisfy your ego,

 I often dumb myself to let you have the upper hand. 
Reason being, I loved you.

And finally, after so long, we have to meet. 

Me.

 You.

 And of course her.

 What better way to end the evening, going to the place where you two met? 

The irony of this situation is really laughable.

To end off this depressing note, a question I often asked myself. 

Did the person I love actually did exist? 

Was everything just a facade? 

Halloween 2011

Halloween is an easy concept,

"A normal girl becomes a slut, a slutty girl becomes an even sluttier girl."

Jenna Marbles

This year, i did things a little differently. With no restrictions like last year, Stochastic Mid Term, thanks Prof Nicholas. i went to Universal Studios, saw the brochure a couple of weeks ago and asked the whole gang to make a date free to go.

it was f-ing awesome.
their makeup was amazing, and the ghosts, seriously, 4 hours of non-stop scaring people and forced to take photographs with thousands of people = very shag.

see, he became so shagged, he's bleeding. 

i know, my lightstick acting as headband looks too gorgeous. and my burberry bag, thankyouverymuch

 ahh, the mummy, poor him. IT WAS SWELTERING HOT. and yet he was covered up with so much cloths and masks. poor him. fhl. though it indeed make an awesome photo

Don't be fooled by Sijie's smile. it was forced, check out her arm still clutching tightly to mine. LOL. in fact, i think i can safety say i looked the happiest there. HAHA.

ah, found a ghost that was very very very slacked. sat on a chair and took photos with a lot of people. #likeaboss

ugly doll much?

I HATE STANDING BESIDE SIJIE, SHE IS SO BLOODY THIN, SHE'S MAKING ME LOOK HUMONGOUS-LY FAT. 

#notetoself, stand as far as possible from her next time. 

#likeaboss #winning #awesome

The Final Cut. It was the exact same guy as the brochure! 

check out cheryl, she was too busy seeing the 'ghost' to look in the picture. LOL.

and ending off, the halloween post, 

With love, from Universal Studios Singapore.

Life has been awful. Sampling is a gone case, I KNOW NUTS ABT IT. i think i have a better chance at driving then taking this exam. and that is saying a lot. 

report is dying, me and Sijie playing with photo booth.

And, signing off, our bullfrog picture.

All i can say is, thank god I'm not born like that. 

or become like this, 

i think i am the only girl who posts fat and ugly pictures of herself.  fml.

okay, this gotta change, ending off with (many) totally gorgeous photos of myself.

 

 

Okay, i know.

NEED TO STOP BEING SO SELF-OBSESSED.